It’s strange because I was taking all sorts of wonderful medications while in the hospital. Yet, now something as simple as T3 can knock me out? Weird.

Sometimes life sucks.

How does blockquote work again?

Neat!

Anyway, i haven’t updated in a while. I forgot I had this, then I became depressed. Then, I got into my own little world. Then, I got into school and volunteering and physio. Then, I got busier. I have a few interesting things to say, though. Later. I will post later. This is turning into every other blog in the world. This post is so very cliché, except for the blockquotes at the beginning.

Apparently this girl thinks that the cigarette that sticks up the most from the pack when you open it is bad luck. Apparently in Australia, there is a custom of making a lucky cigarette when you open the pack. It is apparently also an international custom.

http://ask.metafilter.com/39222/Why-do-people-make-a-lucky-cigarette-in-their-packs-of-cigarettes

A lucky or unlucky cigarette in a pack… I have never heard, first-hand and on the street, something so silly.

Okay. So, I’m not just writing a novel. I am also writing an inspiring children’s book.

1. Weights of varying sizes, shapes, and mass
2. Two canes
3. Two lengths of chain
4. A dog collar for small to medium sized dogs
5. One half dozen small rocks (pebble sized…like gravel)
6. A bit more than one half cup of sand
7. One roll of masking tape
8. Some rope (amount depends upon the person and may be substituted for more chain)
9. A bottle of rum/vodka/brandy/whatever
10. Two trusted and loyal friends

Set up

First, you should prepare the materials. Attach the two chains to the two dog collars and attach the other ends to about 50 lbs of weight. Glue two of the pebbles from your six into each shoe, at the approximate point where the arch of your foot should be. Glue another pebble into the heel of each shoe, using up the rest of your rocks. Wrap masking tape all along your calves, scattering sand in the tape at the back of either calf. It’s okay if some sand spills over. Put one quarter cup of sand in either shoe. Shake vigorously for even distribution. Tape the balls of your feet and all toes but the big toe. Tape your four toes which are not the big toe together and down slightly. Attach rope/chains to the weights as though the weights were a backpack. Do this twice, making sure that one weighted backpack is 50 lbs and the other is 25.

Now, you may drink. Drink until you are just drunk and feeling like stumbling around a bit. That’s nice.

Beginning to Walk

Sit. There is no point in standing just yet. Put your shoes on, but make sure you’re not wearing thick socks. Tie the shoes loosely. Attach the dog collars to your ankles or wrap them around the toes and upper part of the shoe (preferred). You may now stand up. Slowly now. Remember you’re drunk. Get your friends to help you put the heavier backpack weight on your chest and the lighter one on the back. This should give the sense of being pulled forward.

Your friends have a very easy and fun job. As you take each step, get them to push you side-to-side, very gently, but different every time, and with different amounts of pressure. You can use the two canes to help you walk, but your friends must occasionally, and randomly, jerk up on your hands if you use them. Take as many steps as you are capable of. If you stop to take a break, while standing, your friends should shove rock you in all directions while also pushing down on you. You are to attempt to stand straight during all of the shoving and walking. Continue this for a few months.

Finalization

After a while, you’ll notice that walking becomes easier. This is where you need to get creative. One day, your friends should make everything lighter and not tell you. Then, a few days later, they should make it about 50% heavier all around than it was to begin with, while also rocking you harder. You should also see about getting a small dog to bite your legs as you walk. That always adds to the excitement. Sometimes you should be more or less drunk. And, don’t be afraid to randomly change the heaviness of all weights. You can make it lighter on top and heavier on bottom, or vice-versa. It wouldn’t hurt (or would it) to have one of the friends stab you in the back with a pencil a couple days a week. And, if you feel the need to go to the bathroom, make sure to bring one friend along to rock you while you’re doing it…whether you’re sitting or standing.

The image may be found here: http://size-acceptance.org/ariline72.jpg

It was a rather stupid ad campaign on PETA’s part. Apparently size-acceptance.org posted a response, attacking PETA for being sizist in their ad campaign. PETA took down the ads from its website, but they are still hosted by size-acceptance.org as a reminder.

Her post may be found here:
http://audrawilliams.livejournal.com/735108.html

My comment may be found here:
http://audrawilliams.livejournal.com/735108.html?thread=9837444#t9837444

*****

This city is inhumane and degrading to individuals of all walks of life, especially to those with a disability. Even the Ontario government’s stupid “let’s make the workplace accessible” ads were horrid. “Sometimes the interview is over before it even begins.” [sarcasm] I’m sure that a single 3-inch step will prevent any and all disabled persons from entering or exiting a building. [/sarcasm] This one is hilarious when coupled with “a small ramp can make a big difference”. It implies that all the disabled guy (presumably paraplegic from the drawing) needs to get into that door is a “short ramp”. This explains why there are businesses like Domino’s on Eglinton and Sutherland that have a 1.5-foot ramp for an 8-inch step, with a 3-inch drop at the end of the ramp. That kind of messed-up “accessibility” is more difficult than a simple 3-inch step and a door that pulls open.

It’s not that I hate the concept of these ads. Things do need to change and people do need to be aware that they need to change. But, they don’t give disabled people any credit. Today, I, a 330lb man in a 65lb wheelchair with low-set anti-tip bars, managed to get into an apartment building with a 3-inch step and a pull door on my own. Had the ad’s step been sloped and about 5 inches higher at the top-end, it would be much worse. In fact, a push door would make it even more difficult in this case.

I would like to make the point that a small ramp can make a big difference. Sometimes it is the difference between entering and exiting a building. Had the door to the convenience store been closed instead of open, I wouldn’t have made it up their “small ramp” today. However, I would have been able to get over their small step.

I’d also like to comment on the lady with the walker. In this instance, the lady can’t get on the public transportation that is funded partially by the government because the bus step is too high for her. The bus is also parked too far away from the curb. What’s the problem with this one? In this ad, the Ontario government is effectively advertising against its own stupidity of allowing these horrible buses to exist. I was on a bus with a ramp and no stairs today. Why do the other buses even exist anymore? That’s the government’s fault. It doesn’t have anything to do with the people of Ontario. Well, it does a little bit. Maybe that bus driver needs to get frequent driving tests to make sure they’re competent. Once again, that’s still the government’s fault.

As for the kid on the swing, I’m confused. He’s hanging on with his hands. So is the other kid. Does he really need to be in a baby’s car seat? Wouldn’t a single pelvic strap satisfy his needs? Also, what kind of assistive device does he have? I’ve seen almost everything and I haven’t seen that. It’s not a transport chair. It looks more like a Kaye walker: http://www.kayeproducts.com/walkers4wheel.html

The man’s home modifications are humorous. From the drawing, I’d say that the height is at least 2.5 feet (30 inches). In Ontario, every inch in rise requires 12 inches of run. This causes a slight angle that is manageable. This man’s house has no such thing. In fact, the ramp appears to have a very difficult slope. You might think I’m just being picky about the ramp. I’m not. There is a ramp leading up to this apartment’s attached mall. It is about that slope. It is also one of the most difficult ramps I’ve successfully used. More difficult ramps I have failed to use. Ramps can be almost worse than steps sometimes. They should have been more careful with this ad.

http://www.abledata.com/abledata_docs/ramps.htm

As for the businesses being like obstacle courses…darn right! They set them up for more appealing form; to hell with the function. I hate that.

Finally, I’d like to point out the glaring flaw in the “invisible disability” poster where the man has trouble counting change. I have trouble with that (frequently). What do I do? I put the money on the counter and ask the cashier to count it out. That’s what needs to be done. The people behind him in line don’t need to butt into his business. It’s because of this “help everyone and damn their individual right to independence” mentality that I almost flew out of my chair the other night (my last post talks about it). It’s degrading and demeaning. People should be willing to help if asked. They should not be enforcing help. This is a moral issue. People who would yell “Hurry up, Jackass!” is a jerk. They’re right when they say people should be patient. But, it is a slippery slope from being willing to help to enforcing help.